Coffee Overanalysis Syndrome…

coffeeCoffee Culture would have to be one of the western worlds greatest simple pleasures . You can go out alone or with company to enjoy a coffee. The process is supposedly very simple- order a coffee, sit in a scenic spot on a hopefully comfy chair, get your coffee, read the paper/glossy,people watch, finish and pay. All of this for under $5.00. The activity can take a mere 10 minutes of your day to a couple of hours depending on company and circumstance. A circumstance such as taking a toddler to a café is generally a 20 minute window (providing the café makes the obligatory baby chino & supplies a selection of toys large enough to occupy the child although not so many it deters from the café s lovely childless ambience).

Generally speaking even if you don’t like coffee, you do “coffee”.
Coffee is a friendship starter, a brilliant first date option and even a good breaking up date option, provided the coffee isn’t too hot….

However after much coffee culture activity I have to say I feel slightly sorry for Barista’s (however, I do like the term Barista.. so much more prestige than the term “waitress”). The general public have become self appointed coffee connoisseurs. Its true and we are all guilty of it…

My husband and I frequently chat about coffee, not purposely but it does pop up in general conversation. If we are going somewhere it will turn to…where will we go for coffee???

My husband orders a long black or a latte. He likes his latte STRONG and not milky. I like a latte that isn’t too strong and I like it fluffy. Fluffy?? That is not a fashionable word in coffee talk I am sure. However I am partial to a “Fluffy” coffee.

The issue, well their isn’t one really in the grand scheme of things but in relation to first world issues their is a slight one. If I love my coffee his will be too strong and vice versa. If I come home raving about the new barista in town he will inform me that it would be far too weak for him. The last time we went to a coffee shop he liked I was awake till 3 am buzzing from the after effects of my ultra strong latte.

A close relation of mine returned home from a year in Canada where she had become a “barista” and more notably a rather annoying completely self appointed coffee connoisseur. When ordering from an Australian café she threw every Canadian coffee term she knew at the barista whilst ordering her mocha chino (which was not made using the traditional Canadian technique of syrup??, much to her disgust).

A friend of mine complains the coffee is frequently burnt, although she does order her drinks “extra hot”. Honestly I think it would be better for everyone involved if she ordered a milkshake.

Another friend of mine is a perfectly lovely person, infact one of the kindest people I know. Get her in a café and she orders something I could only try and explain and hope never to have to make. “A cappuccino, fluffy on top, 3 parts water though and a variety of other requests. From memory I think dandelion tea even fits into the equation.

To sum it up I have frequented way to many cafes to analyse the constant connoisseur coffee behaviour of society. I think we all need to relax when it comes to coffee and take a moment to “Stop and smell the coffee…..”.

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  1. What Are Some Things To Consider When Opening An Australian Coffee Shop? | Ground to Ground

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